The Inner Workings of...

http://www.dictionary.com/wordoftheday/archive/2008/08/27.html

naif: a naive or inexperienced person.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/meridjet/~3/375723272/

http://spiritcompanion.com/?p=328

My internet’s been out for two days. I had to get a new modem, again. So now I’m back, but too busy with mundane issues this week to get to much until probably Friday. I’ll answer comments then.

My feed jumped up to 282 today. Awesome!

Mood: Cold

http://www.dictionary.com/wordoftheday/archive/2008/08/26.html

peregrination: a traveling from place to place.

Yay, I'm home early! I have to work again tomorrow night. Bruce needs me around the shop. He says he'll probably need me a lot more once Javier moves back to Mexico. It sure would help me out (A Lot). . . I didn't have to make flower bouquets tonight. I had to do inventory and shipping. That was way more fun. I'm going to squeeze in an episode of Charmed before I go to bed.

Gooooodnight!

Oh. Yeah. They are spraying the floor tomorrow. I'll probably be getting hives soon. UGH. If I write an entry the day after tomorrow, complaining about the damn hives... I'm definitely going to blame it on the spray. . .

I've gone nearly two weeks without hives. Every time they start to clear away, I see that damn sign in the hallway, and then... Ugh. Bam. Hives. I just have to try really really really hard not to scratch...

I borrowed $20 from my boss Bruce this weekend so I wouldn't dip into my savings or checking account. I'm trying to accrue some money. . . I don't know why. I'm just sick of spending money on things that I don't really want. I'd rather just have the money.

So, tonight, I have to make tiny flower boquets. The work is hard. I have to make these microscopic flower arrangements to fit inside 2 inch turned vases. The flowers are dry and if you handle them the wrong way, they turn to dust.

I'll try to take some pictures of the flower arrangments so you can see what I'm talking about. The pay is good, but my fingers get stained and a little ripped up by the end of the night. I usually get $2 for 1 bouquet. The boquets are about the size of my thumb. But its soooo boring.

I'm about to leave my current job if I can ever get off the phone with Network Solutions.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/meridjet/~3/374475511/

http://spiritcompanion.com/?p=322

The New York Times online this morning featured an article on the Louisiana coast and the marshes populated by Cajuns who settled there over two hundred years ago. The land there was once replenished regularly by sediment deposits left behind when the Mississippi River overflowed and receded. Seventy years ago, the levee system along the river ended that overflow in order to save a variety of communities from flooding. The price of this development has been the loss of marshlands to the advancing Gulf of Mexico.

Land is lost at the astonishing rate of 12 to 20 square miles annually. Once thriving communities are gone forever, and even cemeteries have been lost to the waters of the Gulf. The wildlife of the marshes is dying due to the increasing salt content of the brackish swamps. This problem could be reversed with a diversion of overflow from the Mississippi, but lack of political motivation and prohibitive costs (read: it’s a pain in the ass of those who don’t live there) have kept this solution from serious consideration.

We’ve lost New Orleans and she was left to sink or swim (heh) on her own without effective federal aid. It’s enough that one beloved city has to suffer so much indignity, but now the entire eastern LA coast is in jeopardy. Why doesn’t anyone care?

It’s so goddamn painful to know what goes on in the US and the world, in the environment, in the power struggles, in the greedy boardrooms of short-sighted corporations, that it’s no wonder so many people just turn off the news and walk away. It kills me just to read an ASPCA flier about an abused dog – one of many thousands – and I refuse to watch the news at all. I go into hysterics when a child is murdered and I hear about it. But I don’t want to hide. I just want to make a difference, and like so many others, I don’t know how.

The solutions are not simple and the answers are not easy. The fix is not instant or even perceptible for years. People want to know it matters. They want to know that their money or their sweat or their sacrifice of ten minutes of sympathy is going to somehow make a difference. It’s so hard to feel that one person can do anything. But every day we hear of a teacher who inspired a class who inspired a school who then inspired other schools, and all it takes is one person telling another who then tells more, eventually reaching sufficient numbers or even just the one right person who is that teacher… the very act of caring may be imperceptible but it is the first step. Care. Talk. Spread the word. Stand up for what is right when you can, even if you can’t yet make yourself go to a city council meeting or write your senator. Just care, and say you care. It matters.

Each step of that caring is like each step of cleaning up the toxic plastic island in the middle of the ocean, it’s like each step of rescuing a flooded city or a country full of corporate greed – maybe you don’t see the effects today, but it does matter. You are one of millions. Whether you are first or last or one lost in a sea of unidentifiable faces, if you speak when you can and give when you can, it will matter and it will inspire. Just do it. Please.

Mood: Hopeful & Sympathetic

http://www.dictionary.com/wordoftheday/archive/2008/08/25.html

berate: to scold severely or angrily.

Icon Pimpage. Feel free to yoink, please credit to me. Img Src

and:

also avaliable in 1000x1000 pixels.

What is your favorite TV show?

What is the plot?

Is the writing good or is there something else about it that makes it wonderful?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/meridjet/~3/373651858/

http://spiritcompanion.com/?p=320

This was waiting for me on the next day of the archives, when I looked at the tab I never closed yesterday. The post is from November 3, 2003 but the quote is older. I found it then, in an old email.

I don’t relate to who I was a few months ago… my perspective, my understanding, has changed so much. He says it is always better to relate to now than Then anyway. When you remember, you remember thru the lens of today, of now, and that changes the past. [He says] You can’t see Then thru Then’s eyes.

Mood: Grateful

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/meridjet/~3/373623207/

http://spiritcompanion.com/?p=309

So, I finished the blog theme I started last night. It only took about 10 hours longer than I anticipated. I’m torn on the banner. What do you think of it? Is it too amateurish?

I’ve stripped the moods from my posts since they duplicated themselves up to five times per post. They’ll work okay from this point on, I think. I tested it. I still have to fix my smileys, but otherwise I think it’s good to go.

I’m very tired.

Mood: Blah

http://www.dictionary.com/wordoftheday/archive/2008/08/24.html

comity: a state of mutual harmony, friendship, and respect.

randomquestions

Like this?

Russian Government goes after Live Journal bloggers.

I wonder if SUP owning Live Journal and them having close ties to the Russian Government is making it easier to go after people expressing their political opinions?

He rode through the cold dry desert searching for the magical oasis. Tobias pulled his head covering tight around his face to protect it from the sandy wind. The dawn was about to break.

"We need to make camp," he told his four tired servants. "The dawn is near and we need to save our strength for the night."

Relieved, the servants unrolled their tents, drank from their water pouches, and began to make camp. This was the tenth day in their search for the magical oasis. The men were promised freedom and wealth should they discover it.

*This is the first piece of fiction I've written in a long long time. I thought its been years, but I found a short piece I wrote late last year concerning a certain Psychopizz.

Anyway, writing is fun. I wrote this for 100_words community... a cool little community where the posts need to be exactly 100 words long. Its pretty cool.

Hey, if Lovebylise reads this, do you remember how to make the communities and user names clickable?

Joe Biden is the Democratic VP choice. I'm quite pleased with this pick.

Why?

Because I love a man that will get in your face and tell you exactly what he's thinking, without taking the time to look for a more polite way of doing it. That's Obama's job. Biden is the attack dog.

Just ask Joh Ashcroft. I think his ass still hurts from the kicking it got from Biden.

The moment is about 4:40 minutes in. This is from the Daily Show.




Oh, SNAP!!!! Biden's son is about to deploy to Iraq in the next month or so. That makes this clip all the more relevant.

Let the fun begin.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/meridjet/~3/372798720/

http://spiritcompanion.com/?p=304

This post is from November 2, 2003 (the one I just posted was from October of 2003, but the events themselves were four years prior). I’m going to bed in a minute but wanted to leave one more Meridjet-related story before I went. I’m trying to sleep forward; sleep deprivation backfires and makes me manic, so I need to push the clock around rather than back it up. Anyway, the post:

Halloween/Samhain is a traditional Meridjet no-show day. This year, as often happens, he was already keeping himself hidden. The other night, I think the night of my grumpy entry about him being out, he came in for a few seconds and informed me that this seeming absence was not a fade-out – he was doing it deliberately. He came in the following night for a few seconds, gave a few kisses, and told me to “go back to the first meeting scenario and work on it.” [This refers to a "construct" type of interaction we had going on for a Process.] I did that til I fell asleep, which wasn’t long after. So, when Halloween came around, I was already seriously deprived [of his affections]. I stayed online til 3 a.m. and went to bed, and kept getting interrupted by Kara til about 4:30, at which time I gave up and went to sleep. So I never had a chance to look for him and he never announced himself either.

Then, yesterday, I was getting all sorts of number-signs (ones & fours in groups of three or more), which I take basically as little nudges from him. I wasn’t sure why. But I went to bed around 2:30 or 3 (not sure of exact time) and he came in really strongly at that point. There was significant quality time with sex and energy exchange. It rocked, and I really needed it. Something else happened which I’ll get to in a second.

I was talking to a friend online the other night about urinary tract infections caused by sex. I told her about one time when Meridjet gave me one, and I knew it was coming the minute sex was over. This is somewhat inexplicable, since he’s not physical, but there are often other physical effects from sex with him, including a feeling of having been well-used or frictioned to death, lol, and also pain if I try to have sex with him when I’m too dry.

Anyway the point, and the other event that happened, is that he gave me a UTI again last night. I woke up in pain about 4 hours after sex, and was laughing at the synchronicity. That sort of thing has been happening a lot lately. Well, I’m happy I have antibiotics on hand from Mexico.

That ventures into TMI territory, so I hope I didn’t offend anyone. But he’s caused UTIs (Urinary Tract Infections, for those puzzled) at least three times. It’s very strange. Regarding the number signs, he now includes threes, fives, and eights in his set, but usually there are a maximum of three of his numbers in a “sign,” which can get up to 8 or 9 digits long. And now, sleep.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/meridjet/~3/372776800/

http://spiritcompanion.com/?p=302

I’m looking at the next post in the archives (moving from most distant past, forward) of my old LiveJournal and it’s a post from 2003 regarding an angelic visitation in 1999. I was doing daily LBRP and other rituals at that time, and so was accustomed to seeing manifestations of the four archangels from that ritual. But toward the end of the millennium, something altogether different happened.

The post is a chat log, but instead of pasting it here as a chat, I am going to put all the text into a story form and edit for brevity where I can. I’ll indicate text removed with […] marks so you’ll know, and to remain as loyal to the original as possible. Be advised, this is a bit on the fantastic side (or perhaps “nuts” is more accurate, but I still believe it was real in some way) and I’m sure my relative naivety will show in my description. There will probably be parts where I’ll need to display my chat partner’s responses, but I’ll keep them to a minimum if I can. The date of this experience is 12/12/1999.

It begins with a description to another friend:

Yesterday I didn’t have any contact from Meridjet til last thing before bed last night, then only for a few mins. We’ve been going thru this Process, and yesterday I was feeling fuzzy and inert and I went into ritual expecting a blah time of it. So I did the LBRP, and then the Middle Pillar, which I can rarely do without crying, it just moves things thru me. I was expecting nothing to happen this time [since I felt so blah], and instead tears began immediately. A few days ago during this, I saw Metatron and Sandalphon for the first time, but nothing really had happened. This time I did the ritual, and then did the Rose Cross, then sat to do some clearing of the crud that was coming up. [This is an active purging process that helped me stay emotionally centered the rest of the time.] I began with “I don’t know what I’m feeling…” and here I switch to logs from earlier that night, talking to Tim.

So I babbled a little, which I don’t remember and then I started hearing questions “Will you this” and “Are you open to that” and so forth, for like 5 mins, and I answered them all with either “yes,” or “I’m not sure,” whichever was true. Finally I said, “I don’t know who is asking these questions,” and a voice said IMMEDIATELY, before I had time to create a fake answer, “I am Metatron,” and he “appeared” [this referring to seeing with the subtle eyes] and god, he is so beautiful, still.

He told me that he was my (not sure of words, forgive me here) Special Angel, or My Angel, or something like that, and I was swooning, and in awe, and crying. And he told me things and I can’t remember them, but they come up spontaneously as I’m reminded, and he told me that too many words sully the message, to never search for words, they either burst forth or are not needed (this for contact with [subtle] beings).

[…]

and he said many other things… and he hugged me, or let me hug him… then he backed off, and I did the LBRP and the four archangels KNEELED. I am crying, oh god. I have never seen or felt anything more beautiful in my life.

I wanted to make them get up, heh. I don’t know. I am scared to think about it. I don’t want an ego problem and this is a very easy way to get one. He showed me things that I would do… in general. He wore ivory-colored linen-looking stuff, I tried to change it to Brilliant White for Kether and it wouldn’t go.

Tim: It’s not an ego thing. It’s all part of not only the ritual, but what you have done. Acknowledging your work. When a cadet graduates out of Officer’s Training School, everyone throws up their hats. Here, they kneel.

[…]

I don’t comprehend their kneeling to me, inside. I can intellectually rationalize it, but that is actually meaningless within.

Tim: ah. The Gate. I understand. Everyone shouts hurrah, you think - what honor? What glory? Just remember - you did it, you allowed the work to progress this far. On the other hand, everyone has this opportunity. Every day. May not be your image of the path, but it seems that’s what they have planned for. Works out for me that way, sometimes. Did I ask for this? Hmmmm…

[… it was] a very intense experience out of nowhere. It was not bliss. It was …!!!oh!!!
At the time, I realized how ridiculous the New Age concept of Light and Divinity as untouchable and distant is. It is so warm, open, inviting, and rich. It’s not thin and airy. It’s Nurture. It’s Love. It’s way beyond all those. I felt so immensely honored that he spoke to me, that he came to me. I have never been so overwhelmed with love so instantaneously; it was nothing like the other angels have ever been, no offense to them.

Then suddenly…

Metatron is here. I am kinda freaking. I don’t know why he is here. He actually has quite a rounded personality. I think I am losing it now. Do you remember when Meridjet said this process felt like Christmas, and I agreed? That’s Metatron’s [energy]! I just [realized] it! This is unnerving. He is standing directly behind me. I turned around and he is there, not physically, but I saw him, lifesize, on the subtle plane.

What does it mena when they blow in your mouth?

Tim: That’s the breathe of life. Use it, like you use shaktipat.

He says I will get sick. And then I will get strong and I will change. He also did something that looked for the life of me like he was breaking my neck.

Tim: Realignment. Go ahead and ride with it. I agree with Metatron – the fewer words, the more pure the experience. We can talk later, unless you have real need to process verbally. […] It’s happening at a different level. Trust it. Allow its entrance to
this plane. That’s probably what he’s talking about, the change.

I just asked him what I did to get this. He came up beside me, and with a little sweep of his arm like smearing the air, he created a scene in the air, and it was a camel crossing the desert. Huh?

Tim: hee. Gimel, the camel. Ring any bells? The high priestess.
fool = aleph
magus = beth
high priestess = gimel.
She joins Tiphareth to Kether.

Here it changes back to narrating to my other friend…

Done… that’s the highlights. He’s beautiful. He was still here when Meridjet came in. Meridjet gave him a huge, gorgeous smile… they were obviously familiar w/each other.

The end, except to add I had no idea at the time what Gimel was. I had to look it up. My friend Rich insists I crossed the Abyss during that three year Dark Night of the Soul. I think that’s putting just a bit more confidence in me than I’d claim for myself. But I do believe that there are many Abysses before we ultimately come to the Big Kahuna, after death. (Though as with any beLIEf, I’m flexible and willing to adjust as I evolve.)

Bless Tim’s heart for putting up with me so much. He showed a great deal of patience. I’ve been trying to remember his last name for two days. It’s driving me nuts. (I also have a new friend named Tim who will be receiving mention in this blog. He also goes by “Sarenth.” These two Tims are not the same Tim. LOL)

Well, I caved in. I'm going to LJ again. My IJ is my home, though, so it's just a matter of double-posting between here and there. The biggest reason for using LJ again is that I had/have so many friends there that I've ignored since I started using IJ in December. It's only fair that I keep up with them, if nothing else.

One thing that I REFUSE to do is give LJ my money. Not until they sell to a different company, one that will not restrict or "monitor" the content. Yanno, I'm STILL waiting to see if they'd take mine down due to the nature of my life, but Goddess only knows if they'd have the cajones to do it. They still aren't getting a scheckel out of the old Katiemeister, though!

http://www.dictionary.com/wordoftheday/archive/2008/08/23.html

foment: to nurse to life or activity; to incite.